Soundtrack of Truth I’ve said it before, one of the most difficult aspects of heartache is the feeling of being singled out. Being the only one. There is the rest of the world and there is you. On Saturday mornings, families head off to soccer games, cookouts and birthday parties, and you spend another day in isolation. You are staring out of a hospital window or facing another long day at home unable to venture out because of the needs of the precious one who binds you. Other families chatter about their concerns, why their child is going through a…

The Art of Contentment “Teach my heart to love, not what used to be, not what is to be, but what is.” I wrote these words during a personal season of yearning and disquietness. I felt myself strapped down to painful circumstances, unable to break free from the present pain. My soul seemed to constantly seek escape. I wanted to fly into the past where all was unbroken or to the far-off future when all would be well again.   Once you have passed through the initial phase of shock following a life-altering event, there can settle in a quiet,…

A Distinction We like to think of God’s love as universal, His mighty arm as uniformly at the disposal of all. And yet, at the risk of defying one of the world’s most cherished creeds, I must stand by the truth that God is not Father to all. There is no universal love, no ambiguous benevolence that guards us all. God makes distinctions. In His sight, we all fall within one of two camps: we are either His child or we are not.      Not as Harsh as It Sounds…    At first glance this may sound incredibly harsh and…

The Voice of Duty Heartache clouds the mind. There is no darkness so thick, no numbness more impenetrable than that created by the sorrow of a broken heart. The whole world stops. The mind stops. Dreams disintegrate. There is no longer any drive, any ambition, any direction. You simply sit. You exist.    Knowing the Darkness  I have felt this more than once in my time caring for Colette. There was numbness following the initial diagnosis. There was a darkness that descended after months into her treatment when her tiny frame seemed to be slipping from us in the PICU or…

Bridging the Gap So often my life has involved learning how to operate with a gap. Life has demanded strength, patience, wisdom, endurance, and I have looked at my hands and they are empty. Strength was gone, patience used up, wisdom failed, and endurance withered. There was a gap between the demand and my resources. Who hasn’t felt this? Who hasn’t been awakened from sleep to the needs of your child and thought, “I literally cannot go on like this?” Who hasn’t sat on the floor, no tears left to cry, staring blankly at the wall not knowing how to…