The Voice of Duty Heartache clouds the mind. There is no darkness so thick, no numbness more impenetrable than that created by the sorrow of a broken heart. The whole world stops. The mind stops. Dreams disintegrate. There is no longer any drive, any ambition, any direction. You simply sit. You exist.    Knowing the Darkness  I have felt this more than once in my time caring for Colette. There was numbness following the initial diagnosis. There was a darkness that descended after months into her treatment when her tiny frame seemed to be slipping from us in the PICU or…

Bridging the Gap So often my life has involved learning how to operate with a gap. Life has demanded strength, patience, wisdom, endurance, and I have looked at my hands and they are empty. Strength was gone, patience used up, wisdom failed, and endurance withered. There was a gap between the demand and my resources. Who hasn’t felt this? Who hasn’t been awakened from sleep to the needs of your child and thought, “I literally cannot go on like this?” Who hasn’t sat on the floor, no tears left to cry, staring blankly at the wall not knowing how to…

Walking on Water There is a uniqueness to every Christian’s journey: unique battles, unique triumphs, unique roads to which we are called to travel. We are all bidden to follow, but where Christ leads us and through what He leads us are not universal experiences. Many of you recognize this. Many of you know that the life to which you have been called is not one that many have experienced. There can be a sting that comes with this uniqueness. It hurts to watch the children born around the same time as your child hit milestones and celebrate achievements while…

The Heart of Hope Day in and day out there beats within us a heart, pulsating a rhythm and a story by which we live. For some it is a rhythm of disrhythm—of chaos, noise, clamor and beneath it all—fear.  From the moment of waking, the heart is on the defense. Continuously radiating between panic, peace, happiness and despair, it knows not where to turn, what to expect or how to shield itself from further pain. Have I adequately described the life of a parent caring for a chronically ill child? You live one appointment away, one phone call away,…

There is something about Christmas that brings out the sting of loss, whether it has been years or just a couple of months. Christmas strips away the buffer of time and stacks memories one on top of another. In a moment you are transported to other winter nights, other evenings lit by twinkle lights. Ornaments go up and you remember their stories. A stocking is hung and you remember who is missing. Christmas sets one year next to another in such a way that just for a moment you can look back through the tunnel of time while memories come…